Career Options Magazine

Where are you from and where do you go to school ?
Mary: I am from Bridgewater, Nova Scotia and I attend Dalhousie University in Halifax, which is approximately 100 km from home.
Tom: Home is in Westville, Nova Scotia and I go to Dalhousie University in Halifax, which is about 150 km from home.
Jayson: I’m from Ottawa and have spent pretty much my whole life here. I actually attended two universities. I started in Toronto at York University for a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in Poli-Sci and a minor in Business. After two years I decided to come back home and attended Carleton University, where I completed a Bachelor of Arts majoring in Poli-Sci.
Andrea: I’ve lived in Ottawa my whole life, specifically Kanata. I went to the University of Ottawa, which is a 20-minute drive or a one-hour bus drive—always fun to do at 7 a.m. for your 8:30 class.
Amanda: I’m from Regina, Saskatchewan (home of the best CFL team and fans around!) and I moved straight out of high school to attend the Telfer School of Management at the University of Ottawa.

Do you come from a large family? Are you close?
Mary: My immediate family is small—mom, dad, sister—and I’m very close with them. My extended family, especially my mom’s side, is pretty big. Most of them live far away so I don’t see them often.
Tom: I’m from a small immediate family with a large extended family.
Jayson: Mom, Dad and two brothers (I’m the middle child). As a family of five, we’ve always been close—even though me and my older brother don’t live at home, we come back for dinner at least once a week. If I don’t call home at least once in a week, my mom will panic thinking I’m dead in a ditch.
Andrea: Mom, Dad and sister. We’re not super close, but we are close. My sister is four years older and moved to Toronto for university when she was 18, and now she’s in Holland.
Amanda: I am the only child and am super close to my parents. My dad was so sad that I intended to leave for university—he even tried to bribe me with a new car to stay home instead! But as a pretty independent person, I was craving an “on my own in the world” experience and was confident in my decision to move away.
Was it lonely at first?
Mary: No, I lived in residence and a lot of my school friends went to Dal. I met tons of people in my first year.
Tom: A bit, but I found it was more a change from seeing everyone you know in high school every day to seeing a ton of people you don’t know. I found it easy to adjust to university life.
Jayson: No. I went to the same school as my girlfriend of the time. Also there were actually a couple of friends from Ottawa who went there too. I was never really concerned with being lonely because I figured I’d make plenty of friends at Frosh, or “101 Week” as it is called now. It’s a lot easier to make friends than you think.
Andrea: I stayed at home for school since I was lucky enough to be close. Because I was at home, I was never lonely in the context of leaving home, but it was kind of lonely not being around the others as often as residence students are. When all the other students went out to party, it was really easy for them since they’re all together, whereas I was an hour away. I didn’t get to go to a lot of the parties so I was lonely in that sense. Luckily, I still had plenty of friends both at school and home, and whenever I was at school I always had somebody to hang out with, and I made it to as many parties as I could.

Five Post-Secondary Students Discuss

Going Away to School vs. Staying Close to Home
Mary: completing a Bachelor of Science Co-op, majoring in Chemistry at Dalhousie University
Tom: completing a Bachelor of Science Co-op, majoring in Biology at Dalhousie University
Jayson: completed Bachelor of Arts, majoring in Political Science at Carleton University
Andrea: completed Honours Bachelor of Commerce opt ion in Marketing at the University of Ottawa
Amanda: completed Honours Bachelor of Commerce option in Marketing at the University of Ottawa
Amanda: Yes and no. I was continuing a relationship with my high school boyfriend and the long distance was RE ALLY tough. So I was absolutely lonely for him. But I wasn’t lonely for my parents or the comforts of my hometown. Of course I missed my friends and family at times, but I was very ready to live on my own and experience something new. For me, staying busy was the best way to get over any loneliness. School is busy enough as it is and takes up a lot of time. But I also participated in some competitions and lots of student-run events. Keeping busy made the time fly by.

How often do you go home?
Mary: Not too often because I am always busy with school and other commitments. I go home on holidays and days off.
Tom: In my first year, about once a month including holidays. Later on in my university degree I’d just go home for some of the major holidays, but my family often visits Halifax.
Jayson: I’d make it home for almost every major holiday, like Christmas and summer break. No matter how much I came home, it was never enough for my parents. They’ll miss you more than they care to admit.
Andrea: Every day! Sometimes even twice a day.
Amanda: When I was in university, I went home a lot for someone who lived over 3,000 km away! I went home for every holiday (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, etc.) and my boyfriend and parents also came up to visit me when they could. Plus I spent the first three summers back in Saskatchewan working. The frequency that I was able to get home likely kept me from ever really getting homesick, so I was lucky in that regard.

Will you finish your degree here or will you move closer to home?
Mary: Finish at Dal. There are no universities back home.
Tom: I will finish it at Dalhousie University.
Jayson: I started at York in Toronto because a) I got in and b) my girlfriend went there too. Looking back at that, I was really young and foolish. You really can’t base such an important decision on who else is attending the same school. It has to be the right decision for you and only you. That’s not why I left, though—I left because I just really didn’t like the school or Toronto. York is far from the downtown core, making you feel secluded. York is also considered a commuter school, which is a school where the majority of the population is from the city in which the school is located. This results in horrible school participation as well as really boring weekends if you happen to live on campus. I switched to Carleton because it’s in Ottawa where my family is, making it easy to relocate.
I graduated from Carleton last year with my Bachelor of Arts. Transferring went surprisingly well. I have to give credit where credit is due: York was very easy to deal with, unlike Carleton. All my classes transferred except a few. Because of the transfer and loss of credits, I did have to stay an extra year.
Andrea: I stayed at school the whole time. My sister started at uOttawa, but then transferred to University of Toronto after first year and never looked back.
Amanda: I did stay and finish my degree in Ottawa. There were a couple times in first year that I considered moving back, mainly because I was missing my boyfriend so much, but it felt right to be in Ottawa and I really liked my program, as well as the city, so I pushed through those couple moments of uncertainty. I started an internship in Ottawa right after graduation, and have been working here for just over a year. (I’m also happy to say that after almost five years of long distance, my boyfriend has now joined me in Ottawa!)

What would you tell someone who was thinking about moving away from home for school?
Mary: Live in residence your first year. Not only is it a great way to meet people, but you don’t have to worry about getting to school or cooking meals. Also, go for the right reasons and not because you want to move as far away as possible. Make sure the school has what you’re looking for.
Tom: I would recommend to travel if the school you want to attend is distant. But at the same time… if you can live at home for an extra year or two during university, it can really cut down on some of the costs!
Jayson: I wouldn’t discourage it just because my experience was bad. I’d just caution them to decide within themselves if they’re really ready to go. Maybe you’d rather take a year off, work or travel like I wish I had. Some general advice: If you’re going away to school, it’s better if you are in a more central location. Also, make sure you scope out the campus, like I failed to do.
Andrea: Read my blog post on the Career Options website! I have a nice little list of pros and cons for staying at home. From somebody who lived at home, I can honestly tell you, I wish so badly I had moved out. I did miss out on few things. At the same time, I saved A LOT of money. These are your last years to save. I also saved on the extra calories and never got the Freshman 15.
Amanda: I would say that on the whole, it’s an unbeatable experience. I spent my first year in residence with three other students, and then moved into a one-bedroom apartment close to campus in second year. I didn’t have very nice roommates that first year, so my residence experience was pretty negative, but a “learning experience” nonetheless. But living on my own, in my own place, was fantastic. Simple things like getting your own groceries and decorating an apartment to your own taste are a lot of fun and really rewarding. (And of course, the bigger life lessons of being completely independent are good too.)

Would you make the same decision to leave home to study at university again?
Mary: Yes, but it was out of necessity.
Tom: Yes.
Jayson: Yes, but not at the same school.
Andrea: Tricky. I chose my school because it was the right choice for me as it was. If all universities were next door to me, I’d still pick uOttawa. If I had to pick between identical schools at home and away from home, I’d pick the school away from home.
Amanda: Yes. Absolutely.

What was the best part about studying away from home?
Mary: New atmosphere, new experiences. It was a great way to start a new chapter in my life.
Tom: The freedom! My parents were quite strict while raising me and I needed to live on my own. Plus I really like living in Halifax, as it is a good-sized city with lots to do!
Jayson: PARTY!!!! But on a more serious note, for most people it is their first taste of independence. So this really is an opportunity to establish yourself as an individual and break free from the shackles of your parents.
Andrea: Best part about studying at home was the support system your family makes. Whenever you stress or break down, they are physically there. It’s better than calling home at 2 a.m. crying. Also my student debt is considerably less—groceries, laundry and rent are all taken care of!
Amanda: The best part was being able to do my own thing without anybody’s approval or judgment. I had my own place, my own rules, my own schedule, my own life. I clearly remember the exhilaration I felt when I first moved into my own apartment in second year. That’s when I first started feeling like a grown-up! CO